I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
