Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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