Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
