The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize