I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
