So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Welp...herpes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
