U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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