I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
