I can text with my tongue
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.