In the future we'll all be gay
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?