Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
