i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
