do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't put those talents on a resume
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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