that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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