i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
