If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
