so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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