cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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