i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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