Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
