I think im going to throw up on grandma
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
