good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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