I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize