He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
