their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
All the doctor said was why
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
