so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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