Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Your penis caused this!
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