If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
