We're like a lot better than the average bears
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
