We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
