He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
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God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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