Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We need to get me chipped asap
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
