he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
