Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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