Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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