What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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