Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize