Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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