I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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