i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
