I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
