i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
