Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
