I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize