I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
