Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
