I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
