So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
