ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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