You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
