last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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