don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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