she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
NoShamevember. You game?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
