CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I smell like Dick and happiness
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
