i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
