we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
