I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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